Art

Art is your personal diary where you may color your thoughts and emotions on a page.

Sara, Los Cerros Middle School, 1999

.

Fear.

Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.

- German proverb

.

Secret in my pocket

 Or... listen to it here (may sound like crap tho) Big thanks to Keira for that little trick. Anyhow.  This is part of the writer's block challenge.  Details can be found over here

The familiar decaying walls, the wallpaper peeling away, whole pieces of plaster crumbling on the floor.…..   This is where I go, but…. I am probably always here.  Maybe leaving the room is the illusion.

In my familiar there is something different today.   Alone, in the not quite center of the room there is a crumpled piece of paper.  I look at it, my head slowly swaying from side to side. 

Intruder.

Crumpled piece of paper.

I crouch suddenly like a demented animal.  The room smells of different. 

I approach warily and look at it.  This crumpled paper piece.  I scoop it up and dusts falls off its crumpled edges.  There is no light in this room, yet the dust shimmers in it.

Hello piece of paper all crumbled up I say.  I roll it around in my hands and suddenly as if it was on fire, I let it fall to the ground.  What are you doing here, I yell.   THIS is my room !!!!!

It doesn’t do anything, it just exists.  I kick it and it rolls to the not quite corner of the room.  I watch it hit the wall and bounce ever so slightly off of it. 

What did I just do ?  I panic, rush and sit next to it.  Still, I sit. I don’t look at it but I want to.  I look at it sometimes, but only slightly through the corner of my eye. 

I take it again.  It has changed, but it still looks the same.

In a fit of rage I UN-crumple it on the floor.  In my maddened state, I push the edges out.  I flatten it as best I can.  There it is in front of me. The realization of everything is too much.

Yes. I am the crumpled piece of paper.  However I try, I will never be smooth again.  The creases, the torn edge.. that is all me. 

I look at it, flip it over.   It is blank.   No instructions.

Fuck you paper. I push it away.  Get out of my fucking room !

But it won’t leave.  I pretend it is not there.   I refuse its existence.  It will go away I tell myself.  It will just go away.  It doesn’t.   I pace, repeating in my head that it will go away.  I glare at it. I hate it.

I will tear it up.  I will set it free.  I want to hear that sound that paper makes when you tear it apart, you know, that sound that probably has a name and if it doesn’t one should exist for it. I’m ready.. to do it.

Wait.  Just wait. Think.  If you tear it up, it will still exist.  It will be pieces, but pieces of crumpled paper.

     

Exhale.

It wants something.  It needs something of me.  

No.  

I want something out of it.

I crumble because now I know.

I write.  I make it mine.

Words fabricated

Emotions real

Trust evaporates

Love fades

Voids filled

With someone new

Me.

I crumple it up again. The way it must be.  The way it wants to be.  Forever I will keep it in my pocket.  Everywhere I go... it will remind me.





.

Dirty

Look at me now Catherine !

 

Breathe.

 

It wasn’t pretty.

It wasn’t flattering.

It wasn’t even nice.

It was dirty.

But what he said

Made me feel whole.

Created for the Writer's block challenge.  

Number 3. - Let's just say he made me believe. 



...

Because it happened....

The song finishes, the final credits, the last page the curtains come down.  That is just the way things are.  Sometimes we are lucky enough to get a sequel or an encore, and when we do… we have to make the most of it.  

Before I go, there are a few people that I would like to mention because they were there….

Gos.  Thanks.  Thank you for seeing light in my art.  Thank you for the way too late conversations about life, photography and silliness. 

Rhapzody.  Wherever you are, I hope you are well.  I miss our little conversations about family.  You are one of those beautiful people I would have loved to meet in person.

Tricky.  Thank you for sending me your skins to blog.  It has always meant so much when you sent me them.  I never felt very worthy of it.  I’m glad you thought I was good enough to blog them.   I’ll give you a shout whenever I’m in your neck of the woods.

Don :  I still owe you a date. 

Sands : set your monkey free !

Marg : Thanks for being so nice to me and giving me the chance to blog, all that time ago. 

Bloggers. Creators, event management:  work together, make beautiful art, do what you love.

Plurk friends : you've been entertaining, it doesn't matter how craptastic the day is, someone will post something to make me smile. !  I may just continue to read you when I can.

Cad : smacks you silly and quacks.

K :  ILY, miss you.  You know all this and much more. I need to be that shooting star now.

I just wanted to say goodbye.

And now, my time in the game is over.  There are many things I need to get done in the real world… time is just too precious now.  

Be kind to each other.

Cat

xx

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

Silence

He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.  

~Elbert Hubbard

Kind

Be kind to your shadow.  

~Rebecca Lawless

.

Mystery

No object is mysterious.  The mystery is your eye.  

~Elizabeth Bowen, The House in Paris, 1935

.

Quiet waters

Only in quiet waters do thing mirror themselves undistorted.  

Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.  

~Hans Margolius

.

Nothing

Nothing is worth more than this day.

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

.

Anywhere

You can dance anywhere, even if only in your heart.  

~Author Unknown

Lighting

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.  

~Gloria Leonard

.

Cat

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.  

~Ellen Perry Berkeley

Flesh

There is deep wisdom within our very flesh, if we can only come to our senses and feel it.  

~Elizabeth A. Behnke

Slightly Cracked

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked”

Bernard Meltzer quotes

Surrender

"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater." 

- Nicholas Evans, The Horse Whisperer

One Voice

When you give everyone a voice and give people power, the system usually ends up in a really good place. So, what we view our role as, is giving people that power.

Mark Zuckerberg

Learn More : HERE

Visit : HERE

Secrets

We are bound by the secrets we share

-  Zoe Heller, What Was She Thinking?: Notes on a Scandal